Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Desperate

I have so much in my life I need to be accountable for, so many things to juggle.

It can get to the point where I honestly get afraid.



I'm finding myself doing a lot of staring off into the distance.

Not even necessarily thinking about anything in particular.

Usually not thinking about anything.

I suppose I need to force my mind to be a blank slate lately; there are times I feel the stress beginning to effect my heart and my blood pressure.




Lately all I want to do is sleep.

I have such an amazing kid who loves me, but I still want more. Most of the time I don't really think I'm going to have it all.

I have been thinking a lot lately that I'm never really going to find love. Every guy I've loved always comes up with some lame excuse as to why they broke my heart.

I am not exactly trying to get back in the game right now. I have options. I just don't know if I have the energy to pursue someone.



I just miss having someone to hold late at night. Someone to stroke my hair, my skin...someone to have long. slow, passionate kisses that feel like they're never going to end. Kisses that make you desperate and calm all at once. Kisses that set you on fire.

No comments: